The Science of Ceremony, and How to Turn It Into a Career with Char Srahan

Laura (she/her): [00:00:00] Everyone, welcome back to Beyond the Ceremony with me, Laura Crockett. I am your host, and we are into season two now, so do make sure you are going back and listening to season one if you haven’t already, because we have covered so many topics on this podcast. There is so many episodes that you can really sink your teeth into.

And today, we’re doing something a little bit different. So obviously, a lot of the people that I’ve spoken to so far might be celebrants who have been celebrants for quite a long time or have a certain specialism. We might have also spoken to people who are, you know, people that you’ll work with within the celebrant industry but might not be celebrant themselves.

But today, we are speaking to a brand-new AMC graduate who has only just finished her course, finished her training, but what I’m really interested in is what got Sha to this point. So please can we welcome Sha the Celebrant. Hello, Sha.

Char Srahan: Hello. I’m very excited to be here. And yeah, as you say, Laura, very much fresh off the press

Laura (she/her): Exciting. How do you feel? Like, how is it? How is it feeling that you’ve finished the course?[00:01:00] 

Char Srahan: I know. Who’d have thought it? It feels really, really good. I think I’d been, and we’ll talk about this today, I’d been talking about doing it for so long. I’d had lots of other people saying, “You should do it.” And then bit the bullet, and then it’s the work, and then now it’s done, and I’m like, “Oh my God,” the whiplash of it

Laura (she/her): yeah, yeah, yeah.

Char Srahan: but it feels amazing.

Laura (she/her): good

Char Srahan: it’s this funny kind of limbo time now for me

Laura (she/her): Mm.

Char Srahan: finished the course. I’m kind of continuing to revise and kinda solidify my learnings, waiting to hear from people, finding new directories every day, establishing a brand, making a website. It’s this lovely limbo zone, but, um, it’s exciting

Laura (she/her): Yeah, it is super exciting. I think we’ve covered it on some of our previous episodes. You know, a lot of people before they train might think, “Right, I’m gonna do the training and the next day I’m gonna start doing weddings and funerals and naming ceremonies.” But it’s, it’s very much not like that. It’s actually, like, it takes that time to build, you know, build the brand, build the business.

But also, even if you got a booking literally the day after you [00:02:00] graduate, most of the time, if it’s a wedding that you’ve specialized in, that’s not gonna be until at least six months away anyway. So it does take that time, but that is, uh, such an important part of building your celebrant business, having the, you know, the steps before the actual ceremony itself and kinda building all that up.

So you… It’s really exciting to think you’ve got all that to come because it is, it’s, it’s such a great place to be. And you trained in weddings and namings, is that right?

Char Srahan: My name’s Naomi, and I am partway through my funerals course.

Laura (she/her): Exciting

Char Srahan: eventually a master celebrant, well on my way, um, but two out of three tick

Laura (she/her): And how are you kind of finding them so far, like the difference in funerals compared to what you’ve done so far with weddings and namings?

Char Srahan: Really good. And in a funny way, w- well, I say really good, obviously funerals demands, I think, a level of emotional intelligence that I’ve never had to of lean into before.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: and I think, you know, I went in thinking that funerals would be really solemn, really kind of heavy and [00:03:00] sad, and like I’d need to be in the right frame of mind to do my study. actually, there is very much a kind of focus on celebrating life and the sanctity of life, and it’s given me enormous gratitude and, you know, has prompted me to celebrate things I get to do and all the privileges I have. So really interesting. And in a funny backwards way, funerals is kind of helping me concrete my learnings in naming the

Laura (she/her): Yeah.

Char Srahan: as well.

I

Laura (she/her): Absolutely

Char Srahan: piece and just that deeply hearing and seeing people, has been really helpful for the other parts

Laura (she/her): Yeah, it really is. And I think that’s the thing, like, when you lead a funeral service, it’s, it’s just an honor and a privilege to be there in that setting. But someone said to me before I trained in funerals, ’cause I was similar, so I, uh, trained in weddings in 2019 and namings, and then I didn’t actually do my funeral training until the very start of 2024.

So it kinda took me, like, five years until I f- I felt ready. But actually, what I really [00:04:00] loved about it is someone said to me, “The love at a funeral is so pure.” And I can really see that now. It makes so much sense because you know that that ceremony is gonna be your last chance to give that person the day that they deserve, and you wanna give it everything, and, and everything is just about your love for that person.

Whereas weddings and namings, obviously they’re a celebration. There is also pressure for more of a performance for guests and things like that, whereas funerals you don’t have any of that. So yeah, it’s, it’s an incredible place to be. Well, good luck with your funeral studies. Um, and then talk to me kind of about how you got to this point.

So what was it that, you know, you’ve done before this up until now that’s made you want to train as a celebrant?

Char Srahan: Yeah, so it’s been a funny old path. So went to uni from 2016 to 2019, um, and studied theology. Now, whenever… A lot of people are like, “What does that mean? What is it?” And I always basically say it’s like RE

Laura (she/her): Yeah.

Char Srahan: adults. It’s the academic study of religion, right? And that was [00:05:00] quite a rogue move because I’m not religious myself, but I find religion as a practice, and all of the kind of institutions that come with it, like ceremony, really interesting.

And I was the only one in what was quite a small cohort that wasn’t of a faith but deeply interested. So how lucky I was to study with people from all kind of faith systems. I studied that and then of course, lots of my cohort went to be pastors or vicars or rabbis or imams, or they went to teach RE, for example.

Whereas I was like, “Ugh.” I pursued something I was fascinated in, as opposed to something that’s gonna give me a career.

Laura (she/her): Yeah, absolutely

Char Srahan: Went to work at Dr. Martens, the boot company.

Laura (she/her): love this. Great choice.

Char Srahan: fun. The discount was delicious.

Laura (she/her): I bet.

Char Srahan: Went there, studied culture, so still kind of that interest in people, what makes them tick,

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: And then have kind of stayed in that space. I now, um… Well, my day job was more in [00:06:00] wellbeing. as part of those roles, I got to do lots of public speaking, lots of often quite vulnerable, heavy conversations with people. And it was then that I was like, “Mm, well, firstly, I really want to work for myself. I want

Laura (she/her): Mm.

Char Srahan: you know, operate in a way where I can decide what I do.”

And just do something so deeply rewarding. And throughout all of this stuff, people have said, “Oh, you’re a really natural speaker,” or, “Your creative writing, your emails are a bit too flowery for a

Laura (she/her): Yeah, yeah.

Char Srahan: Um, and then I just bit the bullet. I just kind of saved and saved and saved. Kept hearing people say lovely things about kind of how I hold myself. more fascinated by people and their unions than ever. And the rest is history.

Laura (she/her): Amazing. Amazing. And then talk to us about when you were at university, obviously talking about studying theology, but what was it that actually you focused your dissertation on? ‘Cause I’ve heard that that was something very, very interesting

Char Srahan: Absolutely. So again, kind of stepped away from the [00:07:00] crowd and wrote my dissertation on the role of secularism. So just to kind of define our terms as we have to do, secularism

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: is essentially the decline of religious identity, religious practice, and I focused on the UK. So I was looking at, okay, so secularism is very much happening. Um, we know that in the 2021 census only, I think it’s 36.2% of England and Wales identify as Christian, and then far smaller numbers for, um, Muslim and Hindu as the kind of main belief systems. So that showed me that, well, 36% of people in the UK now are non-religious, and actually 60% of those aged 18 to 34 are also no religious. And fervently so. You know, they have this… They, they never entertain the idea.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: I found that really interesting, and what I wanted to study as part of that was, so why are we still having ceremonies?

Why are we still congregating for these really important life moments? So that’s what I delved into, and then I also [00:08:00] explored other things, like, okay, so religious, religion is declining, but actually other alternative things are growing. So things like crystals and Reiki and the law of attraction. All of that was fascinating to me as well. And essentially, yeah, the big takeaway was that we’re a secularizing country, but actually so much of that traditional religious practice is still very much there in the form of ceremony. Um, and naturally, to get to conduct those ceremonies now is such an honor.

Laura (she/her): Wow. So what, what kind of did you learn from doing that dissertation then? Why is it that, you know, people want this, this feeling of still having a ceremony, and I, I guess a sense of kind of belonging to something like that?

Char Srahan: Now you ask, I’m gonna

Laura (she/her): Yeah. Well, let me check my findings.

Char Srahan: my uni notes, and some of this I just thought, “Oh my God, I used to know this inside out.”

Laura (she/her): Yeah,

Char Srahan: bit he-

Laura (she/her): abso- it’s been a while. That’s the thing, it’s been a while, like you say

Char Srahan: Absolutely. So why do humans need ceremony? So [00:09:00] basically, a, a kind of very high level roundup was that have a deep psychological need for ritual and also ceremony, and that actually predates organized religion. So we’ve always needed that

Laura (she/her): Mm.

Char Srahan: as humans, and this actually persists, as I’ve just said, when people are non-religious, and this is kind of widely agreed on, so by anthropologists, by neuroscientists, by psychologists. Ceremony is a, a h- universal human need, and it’s actually not specifically kind of re- a religious phenomena. this is for my top four reasons,

Laura (she/her): Oh, I love this. This is great

Char Srahan: Okay, it’s all here. So firstly is navigating major life transitions. So this from a kind of anthropological lens is about rites of passage. So when we as humans are moving into new phases, be that adulthood, getting married, graduating, retiring, it’s really important to the hu- human psyche to note that, so that that kind of change is very much there for the individual, but [00:10:00] also for the community and around them. Essentially, when we don’t have ceremonies, these kind of transitions in life, these crossing of thresholds can feel quite psychologically incomplete.

They can feel a bit hollow. And I

Laura (she/her): Ah.

Char Srahan: a really good example of that is a funeral, for example. Death is a purely biological thing, but actually if we’re not doing anything afterwards, symbolism and rituals and storytelling, it can fall really flat and

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: people really incomplete, like we’ve kind of missed something.

Laura (she/her): Hmm

Char Srahan: that’s a big part. When we’re moving through our life, it’s really important to have ceremony to kind of note those rites of passage. So then really interestingly, rituals and ceremony more generally also help reduce anxiety and uncertainty. So humans need kind of ritualized behavior to move through really scary times.

We need to know that we’re going into something where we know what’s gonna happen, we know who’s gonna be there. And actually really interestingly, um, another academic, Michael Norton, um, he learned that performing [00:11:00] rituals, especially after loss, reduces grief, and it also kind of increases our feeling of control. So actually when we do something after someone passes to celebrate them, to remember them, to kind of ensure their legacy, that helps with feelings of hope and gratitude and also reduces our grief, which is fascinating. And I think we see it in other things, you know. If we think of something like when we’re moving into something where there are gonna be big emotions, we really appreciate structure.

So I was

Laura (she/her): Mm-hmm.

Char Srahan: of this as we move into the World Cup,

Laura (she/her): Oh yeah, of course.

Char Srahan: there’s al- there’s an opening ceremony and a closing, and that’s because we’re all a bit nervous. We don’t know what’s gonna happen. We don’t know what life is gonna throw at us. But having these ceremonies where we know what’s gonna happen, we’re gonna do some chanting, there’s gonna be some kind of patriotism, that helps us navigate that.

So

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: need ceremony to help us move through those really scary, uncertain times in our lives. Next up, social bonds. We have to talk about this one. So essentially, we know that [00:12:00] humans are social creatures. We’re essentially animals at best, and ceremonies, their main job, or their main job to me, is to build connection to each other, to give, um, comfort and togetherness and community and contin- continuity. If only I could, if only I could

Laura (she/her): Continuity.

Char Srahan: On to your tape. Go on. And actually, another anthropologist helps us here. He’s called Robert, Robert Dunbar, and he basically says that when humans do ritualized things, so singing together, dancing together, chanting together, sharing meals together, that creates cohesion and belonging and emotional connection. And actually, fascinatingly, the neuroscience tells us that when we experience symbolism, when we experience something we all do together to celebrate a moment, that creates real emotional salience, and it helps us form memories. Which is why we probably don’t remember an ordinary day, but we do remember our wedding day.

We do remember when we did a military oath. We remember our graduation day [00:13:00] because we did some symbolism. Um, and that brings humans closer and allows us to, to stay connected. And really interestingly, there was a sociologist I was really interested in called Émile Durkheim, and he had this really interesting quote that was essentially, I’ve got it here, “The God of the clan is the clan itself.”

Laura (she/her): Ah.

Char Srahan: Ceremonies are rarely about a god or a deity or something supernatural. They’re actually just about each other. They’re a moment to come together to celebrate someone or something that’s happened and connect. They’re never about anything big or grand. They are simply about being in a room and celebrating something together.

Um, which I thought kind of, you know, does our interpretation of ceremonies justice.

Humans are meaning-making creatures, right? We love to apply meaning to things, and essentially, a ceremony transforms an event from something that happened, lots of things happened all the time, to something that truly mattered, right?

So a wedding license, a marriage license is purely a [00:14:00] legal document. But when we have a ceremony, we celebrate that. We create a social narrative around it. The same would be a death. I mentioned that that is a very biological thing to happen.

Laura (she/her): Mm.

Char Srahan: at the funeral, we then celebrate someone’s legacy. We tell stories about them, so they’re kind of truly concreted in our mind. that’s kind of why ceremonies matter. We need them deeply, um, as humans. And I think it, you know, it speaks volumes, doesn’t it, that secularization is happening,

Laura (she/her): Yeah.

Char Srahan: are nowhere.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: fundamental human need. and I think what’s really nice as a celebrant is we’re not just having ceremonies and removing the religious content.

Laura (she/her): Mm.

Char Srahan: doing far more interesting. We’re, you know, deeply personalizing things. We’re reflecting people’s values. We’re kind of showing the world the relationship or the person in, uh, in focus. Um, and yeah. So that’s why ceremonies lasted and likely will last forever

Laura (she/her): Absolutely. And one of the points you made about when, you know, people are having that shared experience, that [00:15:00] rings so true because I can think of so many ceremonies I’ve done where we’ve had a shared experience. And, one I did in April, we did a full singalong that they’d planned, but also another one that they had was, they were very, like, k- you know, into their music, this couple.

Um, they had one of their best friends who came and played the guitar for them, and it was meant to be just him singing, and everyone just jumped on board and they were all joining in, and everyone was, you know, singing along. And that ceremony will stay with me, let alone them and all the people that know them and love them.

Like, that will stay with me forever because I just remember everyone, like you say, having that shared experience, and I think that is what’s so true. But also, I think that is such an important point to make because you can clearly distinguish between the ceremonies where it is a shared experience and the ceremonies where the guests maybe aren’t sharing the same experience.

Like, you, you will get some where the guests perhaps feel like they need that permission and, and once you kind of stand up there as a celebrant rather than being, you know, someone who’s just leading a formal [00:16:00] ceremony that they’re watching and observing, we stand up there and we give them the permission to be part of this and actually share this moment with us.

You can kind of see everyone relax and think, “Oh, actually, this is okay. We’re allowed to do this.” And, it might be encouraging them to make more noise, it might be encouraging them to cheer, it might be telling them that they’re allowed to laugh and join in and, you know, stuff like that. And I think there is a big difference in ceremonies that we lead where people understand that already right from the start, and the guests are in it, and they’re absorbed from the very beginning, and then the ceremonies where maybe we as the celebrant have to work a bit harder to let guests know that they, they have got that permission to actually join and share and relax into it.

But yeah, I think exactly like you said, it’s like people need that kind of moment. And interestingly, like, you know, I’ve led a few elopements recently where it might be couples from the US, that kind of thing, that have come over and just the two of them, and that ceremony, even though it’s just been two of them, they’ve still had that sense of [00:17:00] occasion and that ceremony in there, and I’ve still shared their story just to them because, exactly like you say, it’s kind of like they need that moment

Char Srahan: Completely, completely that. And I think that’s exactly it. If we think of kind of traditional ceremonies, they’re generally quite passive.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: uh, kind of the same set of rituals, the same,

Laura (she/her): Yep

Char Srahan: prayers and readings, the same for everyone. Whereas we can personalize exactly as you say, and essentially just act as a mirror

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: couple, whoever’s at hand.

And I think also you spoke about permission.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: I think within kind of more non-traditional personalized ceremonies, there’s also permission for emotion.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: Like I was talking about, you know, when I had to traipse along to church with school or I had to, you know, go to a really old relative’s religious ceremony, were so stoic and they were so stiff upper lip.

Whereas I feel like as celebrants

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: we can give permission with a, you know, a silence after a reading if that’s necessary at a

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: or a really loaded pause after a [00:18:00] singalong just for people to truly process and feel their stuff.

Laura (she/her): Yeah. Yeah

Char Srahan: And I think that’s a really nice point you made, that there’s almost this social permission to deeply feel

Laura (she/her): Hmm.

Char Srahan: what’s happening

Laura (she/her): Yeah, absolutely. It is. It’s so true, and it, it really is led by the people that you’re with, and I think that is exactly like you said, emotional intelligence is so important in this role because people are looking to us for guidance. So actually, we’re being able to allow that space when they need it, but also give that encouragement and that uplift when they need it as well, which I think is, is so, so important.

So what do you think in terms of, uh, like the role of a celebrant’s gonna look like in maybe the next 10 years as secularism continues to grow? Like, what are you, what are you thinking about that? How is the celebrant role perhaps gonna change over the next 10 years or, or just grow and develop?

Char Srahan: I think it’s the latter. I think it’s grow and develop. Um, I think we know now that only 20 to 21% of weddings are now religious. Only 17% of funerals are [00:19:00] now religious. So clearly, I just think that demand is gonna continue to rise, and I think, you know, the celebrant’s role continues to just be one of complete openness.

I get the sense that Gen Z are quite silly.

Laura (she/her): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Char Srahan: And, you know, kind of forthcoming weddings for the future generations are gonna be even less archaic, less kind of, you know… ‘Cause there’s still sometimes this feeling that we have to do something

Laura (she/her): Hmm, hmm.

Char Srahan: that, you know, my grandma will recognize as a wedding

Laura (she/her): Mm.

Char Srahan: know, will know that this is clearly something similar to a christening. But actually, I think in the future it’s gonna become even more loose and just entirely representative of that family’s values and who they are, um, which I feel very excited about. But I think, you know, the big takeaway is we are going nowhere. Um, that’s, that’s so exciting

Laura (she/her): Yeah, absolutely. And I think as well, like touching on that, you know, it’s gonna look very different, but [00:20:00] doing nods to other people. I think what I found… Oh, I’ve got a dog interrupting. Hello, Barney. Um, I think what I found that I’m really, really loving is that my couples are still having those elements of a traditional ceremony in there that they want to have.

Things like writing their own vows. Like, I’ve noticed more than ever my Gen Z couples now, nine out of 10 of them want to write their own vows, and I think that is so important and so special because there, there are those moments where actually people are appreciating that, yes, it’s done their way, but it’s still their wedding day, and they’ve still got that sense of occasion.

And I think, and I think that’s exactly what you touched on earlier about having that ceremony side is so important to get us kinda through that, that, you know, life change. I think that’s what I’m really loving, that people are appreciating that and, and yeah, really putting those elements in there that just feel deeply them.

But also with those more, I guess, traditional cornerstones but done in their way, in their modern way, and I think that’s what I really love about couples nowadays.[00:21:00] 

Char Srahan: Absolutely. No, completely that. And I think there is, you know, there is a fundamental need. We know ceremony is something that humans need. But there is an extent to that, that you know, when I go along to a life transition of my friends or a big moment, I think I want to know loosely what’s gonna happen.

Laura (she/her): Yes. Yeah, yeah

Char Srahan: cornerstone parts

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: meant that relationship. And that transition piece, like I think when I’m now planning scripts and things, learnt that that transition needs to be really visible, whether it’s vows or a ring exchange,

Laura (she/her): Yeah.

Char Srahan: flowers on a coffin, whether

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: a tree, naming ceremony. I realize from of theological sense that because they’re four rites of passage in life transitions, that needs to be so obvious.

Laura (she/her): Absolutely.

Char Srahan: will stay.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: Um, and exactly as you say, it’s finding that balance

Laura (she/her): Yeah, absolutely. And what I think’s nice as well is that with that maybe more non-religious couple, actually they can still include bits of that if that is important to [00:22:00] them. So that’s another thing as well. I’m getting a lot of couples who are not religious, and they don’t want a church wedding.

It doesn’t feel right for them. However, they might remember growing up and going to church and really loving it, so they want a nod to that, a nod to their, you know, family background. Or it might be that I have got a, you know, mixed faith couple where one of them might have a Sikh background, and one of them might have a, you know, Christian background, and how can we bring that together?

So I think that’s what’s really nice with the celebrant. We, especially obviously an independent celebrant, we can offer that kind of middle ground where we can have a nod to that faith without it feeling like a religious ceremony.

Char Srahan: Totally. Totally. And yeah, what a dream that is

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: carry ever as resonant that couple

Laura (she/her): Absolutely. So for you specifically, like what, obviously we’ve spoken about other people when they, you know, they spoke to you before about the way that you would be great at the role. But what was it about being a celebrant that really appealed to you? Because obviously there are so many roles where you can work with people, and you can do [00:23:00] public speaking.

But what was it about celebrancy that was really, you know, had a real, real big calling for you?

Char Srahan: I think it’s the raw humanness

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: me. It’s that easy to say, in many other roles I could work with people, but getting the honor and the privilege of being there at such a pivotal moment to celebrate, to celeb- like, to kind of remember, is actually just the most mind-blowing thing to me, that I could have the honor of doing that.

And to meet a couple or a family months and months, if not a year ahead of that moment, to build such a deep relationship, just felt like, “What’s the catch here?” Like,

Laura (she/her): Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Char Srahan: I do… Is that possible?

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: Like, that was it for me.

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: you know, s- it’s, it sounds so cliché in this world, but, you know, watching faces light up or seeing interaction across a room, um, was just beautiful.

And if we are to go back, kind of hark back to those, um, theological roots [00:24:00] of mine, there’s a sociologist I’d mentioned called Durkheim, and he speaks about a collective effervescence, which is essentially when big groups go through an e- um, an emotional experience together, and that’s exactly it. Like, seeing exactly as you say, with that sing-along, the whole room light up, or the whole room feel mutually kind of moved by a reading or whatever it is. I just think there’s simply nothing better than getting to, be at the heart of that. So that was

Laura (she/her): Absolutely. And what’s been your kind of favorite thing about the course and the training so far? What’s been something that may have surprised you or something that’s really stood out to you?

Char Srahan: What surprised me, and it shouldn’t have, is just the, the academic rigor. Like, you know, and I say to people, “I work a nine-day fortnight.” or I did when I was training, so I could have a day to study. And my friends would say, “But what are you actually doing?

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: writing And I’m like, “No, no, I’ve got notepads and notepads and an iPad full to the brim

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: videos and my [00:25:00] workbooks.”

And just the rigor and having to have such a breadth of understanding

Laura (she/her): Mm-hmm.

Char Srahan: how we compare with celebrancy, what the future looks like. So, that was really surprising in the very best way. And then my favorite bit, I– we said it at the beginning of this episode, or perhaps when, when we were talking before, I was so lucky to have Helen Jubb and Julie Chudleigh

Laura (she/her): Oh, yes, they are amazing. Yeah

Char Srahan: as mentor, who were just obviously just font of all knowl- knowledge,

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: So wise, so generous with kind of sharing their experiences, their reflections, and, you know, their feedback was so encouraging. They, you know, called out so many of my blind spots to make me the best celebrant I can be. So, that mentorship bit, um, was just so helpful for

Laura (she/her): Yeah, so incredible. And I think that is exactly, like, such a good point that you make. Even when you’re doing the job for real, even not with the studying, like, so many people still have the misconception that,

Char Srahan: Mm-hmm.

Laura (she/her): well, you write a script, you come, you turn… And, and also write a script, they’re like, “Well, yeah, you write a script,” as if that’s [00:26:00] easy.

Like, you know, that’s hours and hours of work, and research, and, and getting to know, you know, exactly the right vibe and, and researching different ways on how you can make it even better and, you know, and then turning up on the day and delivering it. It, it looks beautiful and glamorous and easy because you get to put a nice dress on and stand at the front of a wedding ceremony, which of course is lovely, but there’s so much more to it than that.

Like, all the, the work and the hours and the time and, and obviously with a funeral as well, all that, all that support for your family and things like that. So yeah, I think people are always surprised how much actual study and research goes into it as well. And, and that won’t stop, I’m sorry to say, Char, there’s gonna be a lot more of that now you’re actually doing it for real as well.

Char Srahan: Absolutely. And that’s the next bit. I’m, you know, starting to think about what CPD looks like for

Laura (she/her): Yes.

Char Srahan: all of

Laura (she/her): Yeah. Yeah

Char Srahan: And just, um, as an aside, I don’t think as humans we do that much learning

Laura (she/her): No, no.

Char Srahan: go every morning,

Laura (she/her): Yeah

Char Srahan: I haven’t engaged my brain. I haven’t had to exactly, as you say, research, educate myself in so [00:27:00] long, it’s been, yeah, joyous.

Laura (she/her): It’s quite nice. It’s quite nice to see actually what you can achieve, isn’t it, when you actually put your mind to things. And so what, so kind of what stage are you at now? Because I think this is something that’s really useful for people who are, you know, perhaps listening to this and they haven’t taken the leap yet, they haven’t perhaps done the training.

They’re thinking, “How is it gonna work alongside my life before I’m ready to make that jump?” What’s kind, what does kind of life look like to you now, and what’s your kind of plan for the next year or two?

Char Srahan: Absolutely. So I’ve kind of done this juggle of doing my, my training, my accreditation on the side. And as I said, I’ve worked kind of in a part-time way to allow for that. I’m now in this stage where I’m starting to think about if I can get, you know, enough celebrancy work, if I can continue my learning, winding down my full-time gig a little bit to allow for this. Um, and that would be my plan. My hope is that, you know, one day celebrancy takes en- off enough for me to do this full-time. Um, which again, feels too good to be true. But yeah, so I’m kind of [00:28:00] straddling this m- middle ground at the moment. I’m starting to list myself on directories. I’m working with a graphic designer to make a website. I am kind of just absorbing by o- osmosis everything on socials, everything in the hive. Like, just trying to, to have a fully rounded understanding of this industry and how I can be my very best. And also, I think it’s really interesting. You know, we speak often, I remember speaking with my mentors about, know, how great it will be when couples and families come to me. Um, and what a privilege that would be if they said, “We’re gonna go with you. We like your vibe.” But actually also thinking, I think that I realized in the training, for example, that there are some couples, some ceremonies that maybe wouldn’t align with me. So I think I never thought about that. I just think, well, I want everyone.

I

Laura (she/her): Yeah, of course. Mm.

Char Srahan: Being kind of clear on what ends with me, what I can do justice, and what maybe is just a, “I don’t think I’m the woman for this job, but I wish you the very best on your hunt.” been really interesting as well.

Laura (she/her): Yeah.

Char Srahan: that’s where I’m coming at

Laura (she/her): Yeah, and 100%, and that’s [00:29:00] something that we all go through. You know, I remember right in the beginning, I was just like, “Yes, I just wanna do all of it.” Whereas now I’ve actually realized, exactly like you said, that there will be some couples and families that maybe I’m not the right fit for, but I can recommend someone who is, and then you end up seeing them having the most incredible day that’s perfect for them.

But also, it’s not just about the day, and it’s not just about being the right person on the day. It’s, it’s being the right person over, you know, six, 18, 2 years, like 6, 18, 12 months, 2 years. You know, over all that time being that support for them. And I think, like you say, it is quite a, you know, a nice perk of the job that eventually you can get to the stage where you can choose, you know, who you’re working with, and it’s, it’s really lovely.

But I think exactly like you say, it does make sense to make sure that you’re, you know, serving your couples and families in the right way. So finally, Char, I’m gonna finish with a question that I ask everyone on Beyond the Ceremony. If you could give one piece of advice to someone who’s listening to this and considering becoming a celebrant, what would your piece of advice be?[00:30:00] 

Char Srahan: Oh, what do I say? I think if there’s any part of your gut… I just had this niggling feeling for years that there was something more for me, that this wasn’t a silly idea. Listen to that gut, tap in, take the leap. You can start small. You could maybe, you know, just do weddings, whatever it might be, depending on what your wish is. But lean in, do it, and do it bravely and boldly, um, because you will be supported throughout, and really is. Like, even if you just did it never to practice, just to learn and challenge yourself, do it.

Laura (she/her): That’s amazing. Aw, that’s a great piece of advice. Thank you so much, Char. Lovely to come from somebody who is so fresh and, you know, you’ve literally just finished. It’s so nice to see that excitement and that energy from you. So thank you so much for coming on today. If people wanna find out more about you, if they wanna, you know, check you out, are you at the stage where your website’s ready yet or not quite?

Can you tell us where it will be?

Char Srahan: I would love to. It’s my baby. Um, so my website is [00:31:00] charthecelebrant.com. Um, and then I’m on TikTok and Instagram as charthecelebrant

Laura (she/her): Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on, Char, and make sure you keep us posted with how your kind of journey goes over the next couple of years.

Char Srahan: Thank you so much, Laura

Laura (she/her): Cheers, Char.